Top things to do in London: week of 4 May

Bank holiday Monday so you get a four-day work week and a long weekend that, weather depending, could either be brilliant or a damp Pret meal in a pub. Here is the plan.

Monday — bank holiday

If the weather holds: Brockwell market in Herne Hill, lunch at the food vendors, a Pimms in the park, walk through to the Lido or the lido cafe (which is fine even if you do not swim). The Bavarian beer hall on the Southbank does a decent bank holiday buffet thing if you fancy something silly.

If the weather is grim: Tate Modern, Tate Britain, or one of the Curzon cinemas which are doing a foreign-language season I keep telling people about. The Conduit dining room is open on bank holiday Monday for non-members if you book.

Tuesday — Soho Theatre

New material at Soho Theatre. Edinburgh preview season is in its sharpest week, so the comics are working harder than usual on actual structure. £18, four acts, a properly good way to kick off a four-day work week.

If comedy is not your bag: Bush Theatre has a play on, the Conduit has a small founder dinner that you can attend if you ask nicely.

Wednesday — AI x Climate

The Conduit on Wednesday has an AI x Climate panel that I am quite excited about. The panellists include people who actually do AI infrastructure work and people who actually do climate policy work, which is the right intersection. £25, two hours, decent wine.

If that sounds too on-the-nose: Newspeak House has a Wednesday talk on AI evals (their evals series has been a quiet highlight of the spring) and the Anthropic London office is quietly hosting an external community meetup on Wednesday too — both free, both useful crowds.

Thursday — pick a battle

Thursdays in London are still a war of attrition. This Thursday I will probably do:

• Ronnie Scotts late show (Cuban quintet — second set as always)
• Or a gig at the Shacklewell

Skipping: every after-work drinks invite I have got. Some weeks it has to be done.

For what is on: the London this-week page covers most of it.

Friday — fabric

fabric Friday lineup is the strongest of the month. Doors 11, queue before 11, room one is the room. Bring water, leave the heels.

If clubbing is off the table: the Roundhouse has a band on, the Bush has a play, Hawksmoor Spitalfields is the right answer if you want a proper sit-down meal. Late kitchen until midnight which is a quiet gift to the world.

Saturday — daytime, then late dinner

Saturday plan: long walk somewhere with grass, lunch at a pub with a beer garden, late dinner. Best Saturday late-dinner spots right now: Smoking Goat for spicy, St John for the proper experience, Hawksmoor for steak. If you have not been to Quality Chop House in a while, go. The new menu is alot better than the last one.

Saturday night clubbing: fabric again, XOYO, or Phonox. Or, weather depending, a warehouse thing somewhere in Hackney Wick that I am being deliberately vague about.

Sunday — Brockwell

Same answer most Sundays now but Brockwell market is reliably the best Sunday plan in London. Walk through Herne Hill, end at a pub, head home.

For people who insist on a structured Sunday: the Sunday gallery walks in Mayfair are quietly the best free thing in London right now. Most galleries open 11–5, the work is genuinly worth seeing, the staff are nicer than the postcode would suggest.

That is the week. Bank holiday gives you a head start, do not waste it.