Top things to do in London: week of 9 March

Right, the clocks haven't gone forward yet so it's still dark by six, but London's actually got a proper week lined up. Here's what I'd actually go to.

Monday — settle in slow

Mondays are mostly recovery but Newspeak House in Bethnal Green has a small AI x product meetup that's been getting good. Last one had someone from the Anthropic London office talking about evals, and the questions were genuinly interesting rather than the usual "how do I start a startup" thing.

If you fancy something quieter, the Conduit in Covent Garden does a members thing on Mondays but the talks are open to the public if you book — usually climate-tech adjacent.

Tuesday — comedy night

Soho Theatre's main space has a new-material night on Tuesday and it is, hands down, the best £18 you'll spend this week. Three big names testing stuff, two unknowns who'll either crash or kill, and a compère who'll heckle you if you sit at the front. Properly mental energy.

If stand-up isn't your thing, the Bush Theatre's got a new play running in their studio — small cast, ninety minutes, no interval. The reviews have been kind without being gushing, which is usually a sign it's actually decent.

Wednesday — talks night

There's a Stripe engineering talk at their London office on payments infrastructure, and a Y Combinator alumni mixer at a pub in Old Street that's free if you can prove you went through the program. I'd skip the latter unless you actually went through, the door staff are alot more strict than they used to be.

Better bet: Frontline Club in Paddington has a foreign-correspondent panel that's been on my list for weeks. Cheap wine, smart room.

Thursday — pick your battle

Thursdays in London are a war of attrition. There's always too much on. This week I'd go to:

• Ronnie Scott's late show — they've got a Cuban quartet in, the second set is the one to catch.
• XOYO if you're under 28 and want to dance.
• A talk at the British Library on AI policy that the OpenAI policy team is co-hosting. Not a recruitment thing, more of a discussion.

You can find more of these on the London this-week page — saves you the WhatsApp group hunt.

Friday — fabric or food

Look, I know, fabric. But room one is genuinely doing a proper UK techno night this Friday and the lineup's not been watered down. If you can't be bothered with a 4am exit, Dishoom in Shoreditch is doing a late kitchen until midnight and the bar's actually pleasant on a Friday now they've sorted the queue system.

Saturday — daytime stuff

Coffee at Monmouth, walk through Borough, then either Tate Modern (the new commission is meant to be quite good) or Roundhouse for whatever's on — there's usually something worth a fiver in the studio space. Saturday nights I'm at home, I'm not 22, sue me.

Sunday — slow it down

Long lunch at Hawksmoor Borough, then either a film at the Curzon Aldgate or a walk on the canal. There's a small free gig at the Shacklewell on Sunday evenings now that's worth checking — it's pay-what-you-want and the bookers have decent taste.

That's the week. Don't try to do all of it, you'll burn out by Wednesday and end up cancelling Friday like everyone else.