Top things to do in Berlin — week of 23 March

Right. Week of the 23rd. Berlin in late March is a strange one — the weather pretends it is spring for two days, then snows on a Wednesday, and everyone gets sick. Plan around it.

I keep my own list on Rifio because I cannot be bothered tabbing between four platforms. The Berlin this-week page is updated daily and the search is genuinely good.

Monday: stay in

Monday in Berlin is dead, always. There is one English-speaking improv thing in Mitte that I refuse to recommend on principle. Cook something, watch something. Save the energy.

If you must leave the flat, the free Berlin tech meetups list has one Python user-group event in Prenzlauer Berg, which is fine, but it is fine.

Tuesday: AI Founders Mitte

The only Tuesday I will defend. Six o'clock, two short talks then proper drinks. The crowd is mostly ex-Wayve, ex-Mistral, a few people from the Anthropic Berlin office that nobody is supposed to talk about but everyone does. Free, RSVP via Luma, fills up by Sunday so do it now.

The room gets krass busy by 19:30 — go early or accept you will be standing.

Wednesday: Tresor mid-week

Tresor does a Wednesday programme that is better than half the Saturday line-ups in the city. 12 EUR door, no list, in by midnight or do not bother. The sound system was redone last summer and it is mega.

If techno on a Wednesday sounds insane to you, you are correct, and you should still go once.

Thursday: Hopfenreich tap takeover

Stone Brewing guesting six taps. Hopfenreich is the best beer bar in Kreuzberg and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. Free to walk in, pay for what you drink, the pretzels at the bar are seperate from the kitchen menu and they are the best thing on it.

Get there for 19:00. By 21:00 you are queueing.

Friday: Sisyphos warmup, the Hammahalle

The Hammahalle is on this week which means the warmup actually matters. 15 EUR before midnight, 25 after, and the door is brutal if you arrive at 02:00 in a North Face puffer like a tourist. Wear black, look bored, do not film anything.

I will be there until 06:00 then breakfast at the kebab place across the road. Say hi if you see me.

Saturday: Berghain or RSO

The eternal question. Berghain has a Klockworks night which is a near-guaranteed in if you arrive between 02:00 and 04:00 alone and do not look at your phone in the queue. RSO is doing a Berlin-vs-Detroit thing which is technically more interesting if less iconic.

Pick one and commit. Do not try both, it never works, you end up at Watergate at 09:00 lying to yourself.

Sunday: recovery techno or recovery brunch

Two paths.

• Sisyphos Sunday if you are still going from Friday and Saturday. The garden opens at midday, the food is alot better than people think, and you can sleep on a beanbag.
• Brunch in Neukölln if you are mortal. Roamers does a 12-noon-to-3pm thing that is Berlin's worst-kept secret, queue is 40 minutes by 13:00.

I will be on the beanbag.

That is twelve things, one week, one Bezirk-by-Bezirk plan. Save the ones you fancy on Rifio so you do not forget — the free events filter is the best way to plan a cheap Tuesday-Wednesday in this city.